This is the first time I've had alone in a long, long time. I ought to be doing something worthwhile with it, but I'm just listening to the radio, occasionally dabbling in chemistry, and counseling Amanda through some romantic difficulties. Strangely, she and I are exact opposites. Whether I ought/want to or not, I always end up diving headfirst into any relationship because I think that one shouldn't do things halfway. Besides, then I know that it didn't work out for a legitimate, not because I was too afraid to get involved. I had always entertained the idea that at some point, things would magically work out. Amanda, however, got used to the idea of being alone for her life. She never got too involved, for fear of becoming dependant on something that may prove to be transient and suddenly leave her devastated. So, she dated people and always kept her distance, often at the expense of their feelings. But now, here is Derek who obviously is nuts about her and she's torn between acting as she always has and changing, letting herself get close to him.

It's like Sense and Sensibility. She's the sense and I'm the sensibility. Or is it opposite? Interesting to ponder.

Anyway... what shall I do with my freedom? Bathe Cami and OOH! listen to the goofy "wonderful christmas time" rendition by Paul McCartney. ;) wheee. I miss Santos and I singing this together. There's a lovely summer internship in NY that I'd chew off my own arm to be able to do. And doing some freshwater ecological research here on campus could be great, too. But they both mean that I wouldn't go home this summer. That's truly being on one's own. Am I ready for that? It's true that it's sometimes shocking to go home with the mess, but it's my home nonetheless. I just don't know.

Fortunately, Prof. M is letting me take my exam late b/c of the sickishness. I think Fri morning is the winner. Which means I ought to get my butt in gear and study. Bye for now.