And now,

I was poking around the St. Olaf website and found fun things that Dean Kneser and his wife had compiled for students to do on dates with significant others or friends or whatever. We should do these and soon!

Play hide-and-seek in a cemetery.
Throw a "How to Host a Murder Party." If you do not have a set of instructions with character roles and plot background, borrow one…get people to dress for the part.
Get 50 yards of plastic sheeting at a building supply store, buy a couple of gallons of generic vegetable oil and make your own Slip 'n Slide®.
Go to Econo Foods® and pretend you are doing a psychological study on embarrassment. Find out how many people will actually tell you their most embarrassing moment.
Play "Capture the Flag" in K-Mart®.
Play "Hair Salon." Get some hair spray, sculpting gel and make outrageous hairstyles for each other. Don’t let your date see it until you are done.
Make and throw paper airplanes off of the balcony in Buntrock Commons or in the Chapel.
Dress up in suits and go downtown with a set of walkie-talkies and play spy vs. spy.
Race Hot Wheels® cars down St. Olaf Avenue.
Build a snowman outside of your friends' window to greet them when they get up in the morning (Grant and Peter this is for you!!)
Climb inside of a big cardboard appliance box and slide down Old Main Hill when it's icy
In the fall, get a bag of tulip, crocus, or daffodil bulbs and plant them in people's yards at night. In the spring, go back and look for them popping up all around town (sometimes called Green Vandalism).
In the fall, go into town, pick a house, and rake their leaves and jump in the pile. Leave them a note thanking them for the use of their yard. In the winter, go back to the same house and shovel their snow. Leave them another note.
Tell ghost stories on the back steps of Old Main at midnight on Halloween.
Roll down Old Main hill in the fall. Then parade around campus wearing your "Souvenirs". (Rolling down twice is good - three times makes you sick).
Go to a local reception hall (The Legion), dress up and join a wedding reception, birthday or retirement party.
Chaperone a Junior High dance together.
Create a Latin Dance Club in your room. Dress up in sexy outfits and dance the night away. (Dean Kneser!!!)
Go downtown and try your hand at being street musicians. See how much money you can make. (meg?)
Get a hold of a record player, some old 45's, and have a retro dance party in your room.
Watch the Discovery Channel but turn the volume off and do your own voice-overs.
Go downtown to Bridge Square and people watch…make up stories about the people who are there.
Go to Target dressed in khaki pants and red shirt. Walk around and pretend to be employees, helping people.
Sit on the curb near the St. Olaf entrance with a sign that says, "___or bust!" with really outrageous places on it. See if you get any rides.
Go try on outrageous clothing together at Ragstock or Target’s clearance section. Create some stylish outfits for each other and model the outfits. If cheap enough, buy the clothes and wear them around town for the rest of the day.
Squirrel stalking.

I thinks that's enough for now kids... we should plan to do one of these on Friday night!

On behalf of Megan,

I would like to dedicate tonight's rant to her problems with Charlie's parents. Megan is a nice girl, she is a polite girl, she has been clearly brought up with good manners and is never offensive toward anyone. How the Wilkins parents could have missed this meeting her several times is beyond me. And honestly, who should know better than her roommate? Meg's a wonderful person and I am astounded at how she's been treated by Charlie's family, especially his dad. Meg: we love you! Don't worry about those meanies!

A really bitter entry:

There was going to be this dance in the Pause for Homecoming. Thinking it was Fri night, I was really excited and talked to most of my non-enthusiastic friends about going. Two said sure, one doesn't like dances, another said maybe, and two said they'd play pool instead. Well. Then I realized this dance was the same night as my concert and band party. Drat. Even better than dancing is meeting new and nice people from band, thus establishing friendships and bonding pre-Mexico tour. But, I didn't want to completely miss the Pause, either. So, I thought I'd split my time between the two. Anna and I were gonna hit up the band social at 10, then make our way to the Pause at 11, then I'd go to work at 12.

Right. We waited outside Christiansen for nearly 30 mins, me freezing, and hangin out until the organizers of this soiree showed up. And they did, 45 mins later than planned, only to tell us that the bandie party had been moved to the Norweigan House, which was all the way down Old Main Hill. I had planned concretely to find Grant and Jimmy at 11pm in the Pause, so clearly this wouldn't work. I had said I would call the others (Jacob, Megan who seemed to be hanging out on their own for the night) when I was heading to the Pause. After calling Grant and Jimmy, Anna, Audrey (who came along) made our way down to the Norweigan House in the cold, trying to steer clear of Public Safety.

We stayed there for a while, meeting bandies and having a generally great time. At about 11:30 (after not too long at the party I'd really wanted to go to), I asked Audrey and Anna if they wanted to stop by the Pause. I figured, though I was later than expected (obviously) but that I'd left an informative away message up and that anyone who needed to find me could talk to Grant and Jimmy, that I could call Meg and Jacob when I got there.

Ok, so we walk up, it's cold, but we make it inside the Pause at 11:40ish to find everyone (including Jacob and Megan who I figured "ahah! I don't have to call them: they're here already!") there hanging out. We planned to stay and chill for a bit before work. However, Megan decided to head back and Grant disappeared. Meh, it was all good. Jacob, Anna, Audrey, Jimmy, Ben and I danced for a bit and then decided the music was not-so-good, and it was 12:10 and I ran to work. I thought everything was ok, because plans change and it's not a huge deal if you're late and you have a good reason and you let at least someone know to alert the rest. Right? Haha.

Grant comes with Jimmy to Larson while I'm working to deliver the message that everyone's "really mad I ditched them." WHAT THE HELL!? Band, guys, is a big deal. A bigger deal to be in than you non-music folk might realize. And meeting people is important. And if the party is delayed an hour, then you roll with the punches and manage to show up for a little while. I realize that I said I'd be calling and heading to the Pause around 11. This didn't work out. Big deal -- I'm sorry I couldn't make it at 11. I got there within an hour. It's my choice whether or not I think socializing with my band is important enough to be late to something else. So be a friend and try to be understanding! No one left me ims wondering where I was, no messages on the board or on the answering machine! It's not like anyone else ever bothers to organize things to do on the weekends...

And so, I explained things to Grant, we agreed that there was a mutual miscommunication, and that things would be ok in the future as long as changes in plans were specified and complaints voiced. I talked to Jacob a bit, and though I went to sleep fuming, I think it's ok. Meg? She didn't talk to me all through lunch. Sometimes, I feel like I'm not worth her time... like our friendship is mundane because we lived together last year. But maybe that's just because I feel like she goes out of her way to see people like Jacob. I promised Charlie to watch out for her, but she rarely tells me anything of import these days, so who knows.......

The bulk of why I'm bothered isn't that my friends called me on being late when I had plans with them. It's that I tried to make it known where I was/why I wasn't on time, and though they knew this, they weren't at all understanding. It's the St. Olaf Band, by God. And it was my first concert. And it was a big deal. And I didn't want to feel like I couldn't adjust my schedule when things outside my control changed... I guess next time I won't bother to invite people to do anything. I've learned my lesson there.

Do yourself a favor: get a map of the US. Read where the states are, learn their capitals, get a feel for major land forms, time zones, basic climates and cultures. Then you won't be an geographic ignoramus!

I've decided that I look like a ghost today. I sort of feel like I'm floating, my voice is weird, and there's no color in my face. Yup, a ghost. It's actually quite amusing.

Lauren's thought bubble today...

Feeling better -- can walk up stairs without wanting to tumble over
Laundry? The fresh warm clean clothes=goodness
probably ought to practice an etude for Dr. Polley
wonder if she thinks I am technically-inept slacker clarinet player...
is my mouthpiece fixed yet? can it be fixed? oh dear... horrid thoughts of having bits of paper rolled up under my ligature for the concert make me shudder
soul calibur II... mmmmm... that's right, Kilik
Orlando Bloom is very good looking with pointy, elf ears
maybe I should do the dishes... I think things are growing in some of them
3 whole hours to do whatever I please=luxury
pizza from grant and peter yesterday was yummy
printer crisis will finally be averted by entrance of a new love into my life: the HP 5550
interesting to think of one's prized possessions as animate and owning some type of soul
erica's music mix is tres good ... ooh! moby now
my flowers from jacob are finally wilting
cannot do stand crew this weekend as family is coming and have not seen father since heart surgery... such is the stands' lot
concert! ack! wow... that's very soon... what if I sound terrible!?
MY LESSON IS TOMORROW!
I Love NY
thought bubbley pages=much funness
chris is leaving for england on fri... I would be scared if it were me, but he's not
wonder what penguins in antarctica are doing right now
need knee-high-fuck-me boots from home, simply for the pleasure of having them here
also need black concert shoes from mom
also could use canvas mary janes (so comfortable)
i like shoes
i think i have a shoe fetish
they really do get me excited!
is that odd?
no, methinks everyone would love shoes as much as i if they had the gift
macaroni penguins=tres cool
environmental studies was outside today! it was highly exciting, sitting on the hill and looking out across the country
methinks i need to observe some of the sunsets behind hoyme hall...
methinks i should boycott shoes tonight
methinks the caf would kick me out
haha... nice try caf workers!
it is highly liberating to have a stream of consciousness journal entry, makes one feel very content with life as it is
bed needs to be made
my bed is soft, and nice, and pretty, and my happy place
am drinking a big glass of milk
methinks i need a moustache
haha, there we go
yum
milk
i hope this doesn't go bad too soon
nope
i'll drink it all up before that happens
sometimes, it's most fun to pretend you're really very young and on holiday from your home, parents, cats, etc., but that you'll be going back to being a child again soon
maybe the milk takes me back
i think i still pretend a lot of things
it's very fun to imagine yourself as someone else, someplace else, and farrrr from this time
maybe i'll just be a child forever
and just pretend that i grew up, went to college, etc.
yes, i think that's a very good idea
back to playing now :)

JESUS! THE SAME DAMN PRINTER INACCESSABILITY AS LAST WEEK! WHEN WILL THIS END!?

WOOT! WOOT! WOOOOOOT!

So, here's my printer rant: I think all the printers in this school are conspiring against us. I tried four of them today before I could get my ES paper to print. Coincidence? Nay, it's a plot! Think about it -- the printers can communicate too easily with one another, too easily! We're letting them bring seige upon us! There they sit in our bulidings, dorms and rooms, looking bored and innocent. What else do they plan to do but conspire to take over the school... making it impossible to print our papers when we need to. Bastards. Then one day, they all stop and what do we do? We can't turn in assignments, so we flunk out. St. Olaf no longer gets our every last penny, so it can't afford to stay open. And then the printers have taken over! Do yourself a favor and kick the next one you see before it can bite your legs off. Yeah, that's right, BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!!!!!

After Grant's profuse amounts of comforting beverages and quite a bit of counseling (is this his calling? I'm not sure, but he's damn good at it), I decided I ought to talk to Jimmy... Just to get a few things off my chest, mind you, but I still was dragging my feet. We went to see "Au Revoir Les Enfants" with Kris, Jacob, and Brittany Bensch for French. I have to say, it's silly that I haven't hung around Kris for longer -- she's just so much fun! Afterwards, we (the Hat and I <- that nickname just sticks!) walked back to Hilleboe. Jacob was sure to plan everything so that way he'd be gone for 2+ hours and we could, then everything would be ok again, we could all live happily ever after with some garden gnomes. These are, of course, essential. Well, we talked, and it was quite good. I certainly felt more relieved. And then it was back to French and Chem studying and the occasional love-fest with Sir Thomas and his Utopia. Anyway, it was nearly 1 am, and though I don't have classes til late on Monday mornings, I still wanted to get back to Larson and crash. However, did this happen? I started to say good night to him, giving him a hug, etc. and the hug lingered and we just sat talking on the floor. Jacob had long since gone to bed, but had cheerfully told me as he was climbing onto the loft that I could stay and even be loud, he'd just turn on some fans (how wise that man is!). Vwellll... one thing led to another and then we were kissing. And it wasn't distracted, "what am I doing" kissing, it was excellent, purposeful, and quite a bit more than fun. Now (and you'll all shriek with laughter here), after over an hour had passed (Jacob was asleep like a rock, don't worry) in this spirit, I actually started to get ready to go. You know all those fun little comments that always seem to get said at exactly the right time in exactly the right situation in movies, but you never can duplicate that sort of timing in real life? Yeah, well, now I have found that such realities do exist... and ummm, wow. Well -- this has been detailed enough to satisfy even Grant and Meg's desires, so I am going to continue studying and... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Ok, so here's my bit: sometimes, you meet a person who leaves such a deep imprint upon you that even if you meet someone new, it's like a few drops of rain in a deep hole and even if now, it's raining, it still doesn't fill that up...

Grant and Nic had very good ways of advising me on this:

Nic's advice: "about this chris thing, it reminds me about the situation I had with Nicole... for a long time I believed her my soul mate and everytime I would meet a girl I would try comparing her to Nicole in some way or form... being oh she is cool like Nicole, but still not her, but I will still try getting to know that girl anyways... I just kept on doing that for a while, until I eventually realized that no one will be her but her, no one will ever be the same... part of that has really hurt trying to look past because she was who I considered my soulmate for a while, but eventually the musicbox will stop and you will be left with the options either go and focus your life on what that person was to you and what the relationship was like, or go forward realizing everything that is to come is a new expierence mayhap in the end better than what you had with that person you got close to."

Grant's advice: "if such a thing can make us better people, than i think it is worthwhile. it may not be an earth-shattering romance. it may not even be a remarkable romance, at least to begin with, but it's still an opportunity to be with another human being and an opportunity to become a better human being."

Clearly, they have a lot more wisdom than I do in this case! :)

I think I need counseling... my romantic life is too messy!

Wow... haven't blogged in a while... I've sorta been turned off since I was recording this long, elaborate dream and it lost all my work because my session timed out... bastards. Anyway, think past week has been... odd? Classes have been fun, but I'm not sure what's going on between a certain friend of mine and I. People keep asking if I've changed my mind about him and I have to reply "yes, several times." I keep comparing every prospective boyfriend to Chris. It's terrible after two years to do this, but I still keep coming back to the conclusion that I'm still not over him. Little things remind me of him and of dating him, and they trigger this involuntary flood of emotion. I do not want to be caught in a perpetual limbo, unable to move on and unable to let go.

SO! The first day of classes and my very first performance in the St. Olaf Band. I think Intro to ES will be alright... I'm gonna learn how to read more critically, that's for sure. And so far, the ES text is great. I likes it a ton. And, it's just awesome to be back on campus. Learning new subjects (esp. the environmental stuff for me) and nearly always having someone you can visit or an event you can attend, how much better can it get? I've been doing my readings as soon as I can (which I will hopefully continue) and I'm EVEN GOING TO BREAKFAST TOMORROW! Who knows, perhaps this year I can stay positive and cheerful even through the winter months... Mom, you ought to be proud of that breakfast b/c I'm getting up at EIGHT AM! Then I think I'll try to get one of those new ID cards... they look sooo cool! I've been thinking about humans and our place in the world. I can't believe how arrogant some people are, thinking that the earth is ours to muddy and squash under our highly-superior feet. We all live here, and if we aren't more cautious in our pollution and treatment of our home, soon enough we'll have to look elsewhere to camp. ERGGGGG! I wish more people looked into global warming. Anyway, I'm done for tonight. Night ya'll!

I haven't blogged it up in a while, man. What a slacker! Well, yesterday was Nic's birthday. I made him a few signs, though unfortunately, none for his door because his roommate scares me. I hope he's not too sad. Then we took Mr. Birthday boy out twice: once to eat dinner at Hogan Bros./ice cream in Cocoa Bean and the other to buy him a joke-gift of porn/go to Target for necessary supplies like more video games. The former was kinda odd... we called some more friends of Nic's to come, but the table was pretty segregated, us on one side, them on another, with poor Nic in the middle. There wasn't a lot of general conversation. I hope he had an ok time. But, the Holiday run was fun and we all laughed when we went to the register to purchase our items. FINALLY, the Megster and I ran to Hilleboe to visit the chaos that was room 306. WHAT A MESS! And not in the conventional "I've got a lot of random shit on the floor" way. This was uber-mess because it was uber-full of frickin uber-HUGE furniture that Jimmy and Jacob had built. Besides the wide, floor to ceiling shelves from last year, and the bookshelf from Jacob's room last year, there were THREE NEW PIECES which constituted a huge entertainment... complex! All of it hardwood, all of it CARRIED UP THE STAIRS!!!!!! AHHH! I can't even imagine. So, we set up the 6 channel surround sound receiver, 27'' TV, speakers and sub, DVD player, antenna, and made sense of the tangle of wires. Next time I walk in that room, it better be spotless, and I have no doubt it will be because they won't rest 'til it is!

But, today I must turn myself to my FIRST rehearsal with the St. Olaf Band... EEEK! Apparently I am reputed to be a good player, but I'm not, am I? Well, I guess the audition I haven't been practicing regularly for ought to do the trick there... oops. Maybe I'll deslackify myself today after work... yeah... I can kickass... do you ever wonder whose ass you're kickin? Some ass, even though I'm not sure which one. Maybe if I see a gimping ass, I'll know.

Today was a good day. Full night of sleep. Mom and Noah came up and we hung out with Meg and her ma. Dinner at China Buffet, a few hours of work, going to Chicago with some of the mates, and a few more gadgets and gizmos for the room. Quite a lot of fun. Erica is growing on me and it's absolutely SPIFFING to have the Megster back. How I have missed thee, Moo-moo! Jacob and Jimmy move in tomorrow -- how exciting, all 600 volts! I ought to get on top of my audition, too....... Hmmm... better practice and sign up for practice rooms! Much to love to all the viewers out there (lol) and a VERY HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO NIC!!!!