A comment of Grant's has sparked a new entry:

"i could definitely see you doing the rebel thing. that would explain why we don't see you very often. "

Though this was meant in jest, the phrase "that would explain why we dont see you very often" puzzled me. Who is "we"? Who don't I see that often? Does everyone think that since I have Jimmy I automatically don't have time for them? If so, that's not true and not very fair. I don't have a ton of time to hang out. And when I do, usually no one is available to do things. It's either a) too late, or b) too far, or c) they have homework left, and it's totally cool. And at least I'm making an effort. I've not been asked to do much lately, besides by Jimmy (I guess I know he wants to see me), aside from eat lunch (Grant) and Meg once asking me about Halloween. Sadness. I mean, if people don't care that's fine, but if they're waiting for me to take the initiative, I think everyone knows how tired I get of being the caller for dinners, weekends, etc. (BTW - hats off to Grant for his well-organized dinner party last week.) But I still think this isn't so nice. Yeah... ok, I'm done. Don't be a stranger, ya hear?

Grant told me to set a schedule up, that way I have my time partitioned and know what to do with myself -- here goes:

Monday
9:45a Wake-up/Shower
10:45 Great Conversation
11:50 Chemistry
12:45p Lunch
1:20 Homework Catch-up
2:00 French
3:15 Band
4:50 Relax
6:10 Dinner
7:00 Study Time
9:00 Coffeehouse
12:30a Bed

Tuesday
7:30a Wake-up
11:00 Lunch
11:45 Environmental Studies
1:15p Relax
2:45 Study
4:30 Band
6:10 Dinner
7:00 Study/French Movie
9:00 More Studying
12:30a Relax
1:00 Sleep

Wednesday
9:45a Wake-up/Shower
10:45 Great Conversation
11:50 Chemistry
12:45p Lunch
1:20 Homework Catch-up
2:00 French
3:00 Contra Lesson
4:00 Study/Goof off
6:10 Dinner
7:00 Study
12:30a Relax
1:00 Sleep

Thursday
10:00a Wake-up
11:00 Radio Show
12:00p Lunch
12:45 Environmental Studies
2:15 Relax
3:00 Study
4:50 Band
6:20 Dinner
7:00 “Friends”
8:00 Front Desk
10:00 Study
12:30a Relax
1:00 Bed

Friday
9:45a Wake-up/Shower
10:45 Great Conversation
11:50 Chemistry
12:45p Lunch
1:20 Homework Catch-up
2:00 French
3:00 Chemistry Prelab
5:00 Relax
6:10 Dinner
7:00 Party
1:30a Sleep

Saturday
11:30a Wake-up/Shower
12:30p Lunch
1:15 Study
6:00 Dinner
7:00 Playtime
12:00a Front Desk
2:00 Relax
2:30 Sleep

Sunday
11:30a Wake-up/Shower
12:30p Lunch
1:15 Study
4:00 Nap
6:00 Dinner
7:00 Study/French Movie
9:00 Coffeehouse
12:30a Relax
1:00 Sleep

Mmmmmhmmmmmmmm..........

Anyway -- here's the other half of my post:

I need to work on being less social on the weekends and at night. I want to see everyone, to run to Target on the weekends, to stay up late and sleep until I feel like getting up, but it won't work. I want all my friends to know that if they don't see my often, it's not because I don't want to be around them, but because I'm having a lot of difficult being healthy and managing to get everything done. This is especially going to hit Jimmy. Lately, the only time I spend with him during the week is while I'm at work and he stops by to do some studying, or studying together in the science center or one of our rooms... and I can barely handle that.

Resolutions:

Try to go out on Fri and Sat nights with friends and boyfriend, so that I can morally force myself to get to work during the rest of the weekend
Have about an hour a day of quiet down time in my room... preferably to tidy things up, chill out, read, or whatever
Go to the science center, or some other comfortable academic place, to read and study...
Listen to happy music whenever possible
Try to see friends at meals, smile, be happy, but not let myself socialize until I have work done for the next day

Yeah.. well, time for French class

I haven't blogged in a week! Yikes! I haven't had much free time, either, so it must seem like I've dropped off the planet, in the words of my mother. Let's see... not much is new with me. Chemistry is proving to be a real bitch and we have another quiz this friday and an exam the week after. There seems to be a lot that doesn't make sense, which is most likely because our profs wrote the book we're using and they don't always fully explain things, i.e. basic info that is crucial to understanding for dunces like me. What else? Hmmm... I am on a new crusade to eat right, exercise more, and get copious amounts of sleep to hopefully start feeling better... I haven't had energy since move-in in August and before that it wasn't even that much. If I don't get at least 9 hours of concentrated sleep time in, I feel like total shit the next day. Honestly, that's not fair! I can never get nine hours, and when I do have the opportunity, my body won't let me stay sleep. What the hell is up with that!? So, life is a bit frustrating right now, though I know it's nothing compared to what Amanda has to deal with. I find I'm missing her a lot lately... her car is acting up and she doesn't have the money to keep pouring into its gas, repairs and maitenance, so she'll have to start driving the buick (which overheats) around town and back and forth from home. In addition, she's going to be waitressing at two different restaurants to pay for these expenses, trying to fit in some homework, and dealing with a boyfriend who doesn't seem to get that she's just barely holding onto all of this. My poor girl... I wish I was there to help her out!

WA! Haven't updated in a while, though not too much to tell...

Characteristic-Lauren's blog-type list:

-survived midterms and hope they went relatively well... i'm most worried about g con (AHHH!)
-stayed at school on Fri with Jimmy... had good conversations and loafed around after tests
-managed to have second depressive episode thus far at school (off to much better start than last year and mr. hat wasn't scared or annoyed, so phew)
-came HOME!
-got hair trimmed (not the best great clips job ever done, but it'll suffice)
-helped Noah with a big project for school
-talked to Grant on phone for long period of time, gossiped like school girls, and planned for his lovely dinner this sat night
-saw movies with the Johns: "Trinity River" at the oh-so-orgasmic EP AMC theatre with the squishy, red seats and the 1950's version of "Sabrina" which was actually my first Audrey Hepburn movie and it was lovely... simply lovely. I'm going to search for "La vie en rose" as soon as I get back to school
-talked with Jimmy online and on the phone, which has been quite fun, even if we kept each other up too late
-went to doctor because I always get sick - got good lifestyle advice and will hopefully have bloodwork tests back soon... unfortunately, they poked through my vein so it bled all over in my arm and still hurts
-got to spend time in lovely red room
-went to the mall, had mini-clearance-shopping spree at Gap and oggled the shoes in Von Maur... I've decided that after the T-straps, I'm going to look into leather boots... mwa hahaha... maybe I'll get some on clearance
-brought new bras: one is pretty with flowers and lace (must show meg), the other is a neutral shade to replace the one where the underwire stabs me in public and forces me to rummage about my boobs in front of large gatherings of people (not v. good)
-am going back to school tomorrow morning, then ben and I are making the hike to Hinckley to pick up a certain person we all know
-can't wait to see people, esp. to hear about megan's weekend
-still need to use silver polish on clarinet
-am going to watch all of "A Man for All Seasons" tonight with family
-must do homework... ugh
-am going to try to speak up in con with renewed fervor and scorn for people who impose their views unfairly upon others... g con crusader of sorts, fighting for the right not to take ourselves too seriously
-ahhh... it smells good at home
-realized have not set foot in next-door catholic church in over two years...
-perhaps a visit to the unitarian church in northfield is finally in order, as is a blue mondays run as soon as humanly possible
-bye for now from a gimpy-armed girl! :) love to all

The most nicest, most thoughtful and exciting thing yet done for me:

Today, as I'm sure I've mentioned to everyone on the planet, WE HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ONE MONTH. And the we to which I refer is of course Mr. Hat and I. ;) Mwa hahhahahah! And I was told tonight that I a) would not be eating dinner in the caf and b) would be absconded at exactly 6:45pm. So, at a bit before 6:45 (according to my watch, at least), I made my way over to Hilleboe only to be met by Ben who led the way back over to Larson (which is only because I was two minutes late, says Jimmy... hmph, lol) to wait for a few minutes in the lounge. After this, I was blindfolded and led by Ben to his car where we proceeded to drive around for 20 mins in order to totally disorient me while a certain someone was carrying through with his main plan. After a bit of a dizzy and car-sick ride (after all, no horizon to look at to keep steady when blindfolded), I was led out of the car and to someplace on campus (so I inferred from the smell, breeze and leaf content on the ground), still unable to see. I was left standing in the dark for a moment before lo and behold I was able to take the bandana off my eyes to find myeslf on the hill behind Old Main standing in front of a picnic dinner (complete with taper candles, blanket, music (a la laptop), sparkling grape juice and wine glasses, and last but most certainly not least, boyfriend.) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First of all, I was stunned that such an exciting plan had been concocted by Jimmy in a matter of days for the celebration of certain month anniveraries. Second of all, I felt so special! :) It was sooo sweet and what a perfect way to spend a fall evening! That boy is so thoughtful! No one has ever done anything like that for me... I feel a bit spoiled, esp since, after a pizza, we got to munch on a double chocolate fudge cake that he had specially gotten at the bakery in town while listening to excellent romantic type songs. Among the bests: Everything I Do (from the critically acclaimed (by the St. Olaf Band) movie, Robin Hood: Prince of Theives. Mwa hahahahaaha... life cannot get any better and I have the most wonderful boyfriend ever.

Ok, some interesting events happened since my last blog. Unfortunately, one of them contributes to the fact that I haven't yet updated this to tell everyone. Well. Here we go:

Good news:
-chem lab was actually fun this week and thanks to my mad work, we finished A HALF AN HOUR AHEAD OF SCHEDULE! This brings unprecedented joy to my heart as I have time to chill after daunting chemical tasks and a lot of iodine everywhere
-Grant played me the piece he wrote my for my birthday and WOW! That's about all a girl can say... just that it was incredible and I was incredibly ashamed for not having heard it earlier? What was my problem? I just don't know.
-Jimmy and I will have officially been dating for a month tomorrow. WOOT! :) I am completely thrilled. We have a very interesting way of interacting and I think it takes some people by surprise. I suppose that will happen when you are friends for quite some time prior to going out and have steadily teased one another as much as he and I do. Mwa hahahahahahaha. But seriously, I can tell him anything, anything on my mind at all whether it concerns classes, grades, he and I, home, music, ponderings of what penguins might be up to AS I SPEAK (I mean, who wouldn't want to think about them?), and hearing about the cats as I occasionally pick bits of hair off my clothing and play the "whose fur is this" game. lol... you just don't find someone that patient and kind and fun and super-fricking nice to you and that you love to be around like.. ever. That was totally incoherent, but I think I get my point across: Jimmy, you're awesome!
-I realized this weekend what good friends I have... particularly in the dept of John K., John A., Grant (well duh there), Meg (another duh) and Jimmy (a super big duh). The Johns were here on Sat and John K and I devoured a pizza on Fri night. It was such a good time. I love them all. I really do.
-Hmmm... Andromeda (for those who don't know, this is my laptop) is fixed and happy for the moment (for the moment being the key phrase here). Who knows how long that will last?
-Grant lent me Delilah, his second-born child, for the week in case my own baby dies again. Jimmy lent me his wireless internet base and all I can say is that it rocks to type in bed!
-The sky is very blue today.
-I am not too-horribly tired
-Despite that, I plan to collapse on Jimmy and Jacob's futon today at precisely 1:16.... good plan.

Bad news:
-no fort contest because Meg and Grant got lost in the cities and then Grant's beautiful new Blazer's transmission started to go. Talk about a bad day.
-ummm... no one freak out (esp. you, Mom) but Grant, Meg and I had a small run-in with Public Safety over the weekend. Don't worry, we didn't get in any trouble, but I did spend a significant portion of the night hiding in a strange house's windowell. For further details, ask me personally. Talk about a bad night, esp for Grant and Megan who had already paid their "today sucks" dues.
-afterwards, Peter and Mia decided to have an intervention. It's certainly their perogative to talk to Grant if they feel he's going astray, has become a "follower" of Megan and I, like he's not reaching his full potential, etc. but they picked the worst time to do it. Grant was so upset that he was physically sick and then they started in on him. I mean, honestly!!!!! How could any person ALIVE have been expected to patiently take their criticisms, complaints and insults (saying Grant has no mind of his own) at this point? He's just had one of the worst days of his life. He doesn't need anyone to make it even more horrible. I called Grant's room after we got back because Meg and I guessed he was getting reamed out. And he was. And I tried to talk reasonably to Peter. I understood that he and Mia cared about Grant, but I wanted to make it clear that anything they said tonight would have a bad and negative effect and that they would do well to discuss it tomorrow, but apparently Peter was holding the phone away from his ear. :( So much for the voice of reason. Then Grant picked up and told me what was occuring (WWIII) and I could hear Peter screaming in anger and frustration in the background and (I think) hitting something. It was terrifying to listen to! It reminded me of times at home when Dad was so mad at me that I was afraid he'd do something.... I was shocked to hear that over the phone... I told Grant to come over to Hilleboe and just leave the situation be. So we all sat sort of shatted that night, watching the Princess Bride. To top it all off, I came back to my room to find my laptop was completely broken.

The following morning at 7:30am, I left with the St. Olaf Band in the buses to give a concert in Richland Center, WI. After a cumulative total of 8 hours in a bus, I was wiped when I got home. Andromeda still wasn't working and I was greatly saddened to learn that Peter was no longer friends with Megan. They had started talking on the internet the summer before we all moved in and it seems terrible to just trash all of that. Oh well... it's not my place to interfere.

Anyway, yesterday classes dragged on and I felt completely drained from the band trip, even though I had ample amounts of sleep. I still feel quasi-sick today. What is wrong with me? Am I just over-sensitive to normal headaches and pangs that other people ignore? Do I get sick at the drop of a hat because I have a weak immune system? I can't understand why I seem to need about 9 hours of sleep a night (and sometimes still feel tired) and why I go from cold to cold and don't feel better! ACK! Who knows....

So, three tests on Friday. I started studying for french yesterday and I'll hit the chemistry today, too. Great con... god himself only knows how I'll pull out of that one. Time to make study guides, I guess.

OOH! One more really good piece of news: I worked at the coffeehouse last night and it was AWESOME! By far, this will be the best job I've had. I like making snacks and drinks, the people I've met are all great, good music is always playing and you get to interact with people from the dorm. YAY! That makes me happy thinking about it... I can't wait to work next week! WAIT! Shoot... it'll be two weeks from now. See? I'm sad.

Anyway, time to eat some food -- talk to ya'll later!

Hmmm... no fortbuilding today... My fort team wasn't around so I went back to bed and this was lovely. And then I took a shower and shaved my legs (also lovely) and then tweezed my eyebrows (sorely needed to be done) and now all is good. Except lotion... could really use some lotion. And easy mac and ahhhhhh, that's better. Warm, cheesy easy mac. Where have you been all my life?

What else is new with me? This weekend we have a performance in Richland Center, WI, which is a tiny little town south of La Crosse. The SOB hightails it at 9am Sunday morning and is [hopefully] back by 9pm the same night. Phew, that'll be a long day. But fun. Yes, very fun. Bass clarinet power! :) Hopefully we'll have master Dr. Mahr's new piece by the time it's featured in public performance....

There's a fort building contest in the Larson Coffeehouse this Saturday! HOW FUN IS THAT!? I need to make a plan! And get supplies... excellent, excellent.

I boycotted blogging for a while because I didn't have anything pleasant to write. However, this is going to change. I will find good things to say about my regulars and classes and not focus on nasty-smelling beetles that sizzle. My away message last night:

this is gonna sound sick, but I'm having a lot of fun right now taking the Japanese beetles and roasting them on the lightbulb of my floor lamp to hear them sizzle. Ah the smell of environmental venegeance!

Perhaps my pleasure in the destruction of foul, invasive species is a little too high? Oh well, soon enough the frost will do them away. 'Tis the life of a seasonal nuisance.