Today was a good day, finally.

I woke up, ate lovely berry cereal from Jimmy and helped my Dad out to plan some of his Christmas shopping. I felt all cool and included! :) Then John called me to ask if i wanted to help him with some major wardrobe shopping. WOULD I!? Mwa hahaha. That was quite fun! AND GUESS WHAT!? I BOUGHT T STRAPS! After months of chasing after the illusive 1920's style shoes, I found and purchased a pair. Merry Christmas, Lauren! Then, I came home and dined on a tasty meal of well-spiced ramen, cheese and crackers, and applesauce. Which was lovely, btw. And what else? I made a batch of cookie dough for the baking and decorating. Then I went to Target, met Amanda, and we spent a good evening talking over appetizers at Applebee's. Now I get to talk to my boy... how perfect. :) Life is good!

Ok... so finals gave me purpose, how sad is that? Suddenly, there was a goal (to not fail) and life became decidedly better. Oh, and talking with Grant helped. It always does.

What else? Christmas season for me was in full swing. I had my boy, I had my tree, and that was as good as it gets. And we saw ROTK! AND IT WAS AWESOME! OMG!!! Ahh! I think the best part was that I got to see it with Jimmy... But then it was time to leave for the break! And now I'm just counting the days until I can see him again...

I'm not sure what's going on with me lately... Sometimes I feel happy but then it sort of flutters away and I'm left feeling blah again. It's like a giant flat field of mediocrity that goes as far as I can see and I almost forget that there are other states out there. I don't mind being alone, in fact it's sometimes a great comfort to just be by yourself. I dunno... Sometimes I feel like I want to lock myself up and watch Jane Austen movies and munch on small foods and drink hot chocolate all day long. And then other times I feel guilty after even an hour of this because I should always be doing something "productive" as my father often told me when I was younger. Do little things in your past suddenly snowball like that? Other times still, I want to be a butterfly and flit from Target into town and walk about and be around people and just soak it in and not have to think. It's the thinking that gets me. Unfortunately, college brings out a lot of that. The meteors last night were clouded over. :( Maybe tonight, though the sky is grey, grey, grey... Maybe that's the problem. The sky is grey, the ground is white, the buildings are cream, the roads are greyish too. Everything is one pale shade or another. I can't remember feeling at all bad when the trees were changing and the color was all around me. Perhaps I'm like an iguana and I need a giant lamp over me to be healthy. Next Target run... kidding! Kidding. But seriously, I might go to Radioshack or someplace and look for a camera cable. I need it badly. Anyway -- I better conclude. We have a great con review session in 30 mins and I do not have any makeup on. Bye everyone.

Ahhhh... first final done. Chemistry, which has quite frequently been a bane of my existence. The times I've wanted to throw the book out the window to hear the satisfying sound of a packed three inche binder hitting the cement with a "wham" cannot be contained to the fingers on my hands. However, I'd like to think that I did it... this final didn't go badly at all. Disregarding the few questions where I was like "what!?" on the total nine pages of final-y goodness, I'd have to say that maybe I win at chemistry after all...

So anyway -- I know that I haven't blogged in a while, so I really must update the world on the goings on in my life:

Earlier this week (I think it was Tuesday), St. Olaf was transformed into a positive winter wonderland with several inches of snow. I was just about giddy when it snowed softly for a day straight. I don't think I've ever loved watching snow fall so much, or been so happy just to be on campus to appreciate it. It was a lovely Christmas gift before the harsh reality of approaching finals hit in.

And finals, oh finals... ah! I'm having some problems feeling motivated to study as much as I manically like to do before any large test. I think this is in part due to the gigantic mess my room has become since I obsessively cleaned it last Friday. There are bits of Christmas wrapping everywhere along with random pieces of clothing, shoes, about 20 scattered pages of chemistry study guides, gifts and tiny rocks that migrated in at some point unbeknownst to Erica and I. I think I'm going to do something about that in appromately 3 minutes and 30 seconds. But you'll never know because my blog doesn't record writing time, just time published and even that's in Pacific time (why, I do not know).

So last night, Meg and I went on an adventure to Aquatic Pets. I can hear my mom groaning because she can guess the reason. Cami the Monstrous Hermit Crab seemed unsociable and lonely and I guessed that what he needed was a friend. So I went on a Cami Christmas spree to peruse the crab selection in Northfield. They had a new shipment... with absolutely tiny crabs. Cami's can be a big lug sometimes, so I got two little babies to keep each other company. They don't have names yet other than Gimp and Crawly. They'll get better ones, soon. If you have any ideas, email me at andersol@stolaf.edu. I tried to show Cami his little pets, but he got scared and snapped back into his shell so quickly that the whole thing rolled over. What a goon! :) The little ones were afraid of him, no wonder, because if I saw Monstro the Whale coming at me, I'd run for it to. But now Gimp is curled up next to Cami. I hope Cami doesn't ever try to punt them around... that would not be good. No football in the crab cube. Soon it will be a Crab Condo... and then maybe a Crab Comfort Inn. Mmmhmmm, and then I can make them all little beds! This is a fun idea.

I think Sense and Sensibility on DVD is calling my name, as is the new carpet rock garden. Talk to you all soon!

Ah! Roommate crises -- not only did Jacob talk to Jimmy about sleeping in and such but the entire deal with coming back to my room on Sunday with Mom and Noah got fairly blown out of proportion. Instead of it being that the door was locked and I heard rummaging inside to get it open, the curtains were drawn, and Jeff's vest on the floor, it became my mom and I walking in on them doing whatever and me having no idea that Jeff was even coming... Yeah. I knew perfectly well he was going to visit. Ideally, since Erica knew my family was coming, she would have left the door unlocked, opened the curtains, and realized how the situation could have looked bad from the perspective of my fairly Catholic family. But oh well. There was nothing going on and though it looked like there wasn't a lot of respect for my mother and brother formally visiting me on a Sunday afternoon and I was very flustered when the door was opened, it got quite blown out of proportion and passed around the friends a good deal. If I was Erica, I would feel bad about someone else approaching me about something I had apparently done and wish that my roommate hadn't said a word to a single soul, but there it is. It's finished, so one must simply apologize for rumors, entreat the other to see how things easily look not so good when the lights are off and the door is locked, and hope for the best.

I think I need a holiday from school. I'm noticing that I don't really smile that much or laugh a lot just randomly. I always liked laughing a lot... where did it go? It makes me kinda sad! I dunno... So much stress and pressure here! I wish college could take about 2x longer so there would be half the amount of stuff to do. I keep thinking back over the stuff I've read and studied and regardless of what it is, the things I could complete at my own leisure were much more intellectually stimulating and satisfying. Hm. What does that say about education? I hate cramming things in like I do, but it seems to be the only way not to fail. Maybe I'll come up with a magical solution tonight...

How is it possible that this is the natural functioning of my reproductive system? I think it's faulty! Nothing that's meant to create life at some point should hurt this much now!

This is the first time I've had alone in a long, long time. I ought to be doing something worthwhile with it, but I'm just listening to the radio, occasionally dabbling in chemistry, and counseling Amanda through some romantic difficulties. Strangely, she and I are exact opposites. Whether I ought/want to or not, I always end up diving headfirst into any relationship because I think that one shouldn't do things halfway. Besides, then I know that it didn't work out for a legitimate, not because I was too afraid to get involved. I had always entertained the idea that at some point, things would magically work out. Amanda, however, got used to the idea of being alone for her life. She never got too involved, for fear of becoming dependant on something that may prove to be transient and suddenly leave her devastated. So, she dated people and always kept her distance, often at the expense of their feelings. But now, here is Derek who obviously is nuts about her and she's torn between acting as she always has and changing, letting herself get close to him.

It's like Sense and Sensibility. She's the sense and I'm the sensibility. Or is it opposite? Interesting to ponder.

Anyway... what shall I do with my freedom? Bathe Cami and OOH! listen to the goofy "wonderful christmas time" rendition by Paul McCartney. ;) wheee. I miss Santos and I singing this together. There's a lovely summer internship in NY that I'd chew off my own arm to be able to do. And doing some freshwater ecological research here on campus could be great, too. But they both mean that I wouldn't go home this summer. That's truly being on one's own. Am I ready for that? It's true that it's sometimes shocking to go home with the mess, but it's my home nonetheless. I just don't know.

Fortunately, Prof. M is letting me take my exam late b/c of the sickishness. I think Fri morning is the winner. Which means I ought to get my butt in gear and study. Bye for now.

MURPHY'S LAW WEEK!

Tuesday, tuesday...

Our ES class was covering the same thing we had before break for all those slackers who skipped class, so I gave in to my heavy, bowling ball-ish head and didn't go. Meh -- it's the class I've missed least all year and I had bigger fish to fry. Like my chem test, for instance. I'm definitely not feeling that lovely today... in fact, I'm feeling like a smashed can of beans. Yes. Exactly. But that's ok. I called Prof. Miessler (who already told me that I could rearrange tests if I was sick) to ask to take my exam on Thursday, I took ibu and echinacea and have touched makeup. I think I'll be ok with finals and all coming. I'm not reading knowledge bowl this weekend. I am not going to slack off. I will persevere and sleep a lot and hope for the best. Indeed -- now for a spot of jury music.

Oh my God in Heaven... I am in some serious musical trouble: right arm tendonitis flaring up at most in opportune moment. If I survive playing in studio class and for my jury, it will be because of divine intervention. What am I going to do? Ahhh! Everything that could possibly go wrong seems to be... chemistry exam, french quizie, sickness, last real week of classes? Where has time gone to? AHHH! Oh my goodness. This is not pretty!!!

Thanks for letting me rant, that's all for now. :(

THE DAY BEFORE THE HINCKLEY VISIT!!!!

I am a bit nervous! Well, rather nervous! Not anxious, but still getting into visit mode. I'm thrilled, don't get me wrong, but I always get nervous about big things. And, like any final, this is a big deal. Bottom line: I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE JIMMY BOY! :)

I'm a dork, I know.

Thanksgiving was lovely this year... Spending time with family is always awesome. And food is yummy too. If only my profs hadn't assigned so much damn homework! What's up with that!?

AH! The emails I sent out about a lovely Chaska group get-together never actually got through! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH SQUIRREL MAIL!? I sent one days and days ago and the other last night and neither was received. Damnit! AOL is more reliable!? AH! Oh well... I am going to try to clean, change sheets, and read some more Hume.

Wow -- 'tis been a whole week since I last blogged. St. Olaf (as well as the greater Minnesotan area) are weekend-deep in snow. Lovely, beautiful, sparkling snow. When one has nowhere in particular to be, I can't think of anything better. I remember when I was little and it was snowing at night, I used to turn on the deck light and watch as illuminated flakes floated neatly down into a whole carpet of glittering white. It was glorious and by God it still is.

This is Megan's first blizzard (or rather, extended period of snow) and I think she's enjoying herself. She and Jane bought naughty magazines in town today (of which I was thankfully not part of -- those get to be expensive amusements!) The pictures in those are always frightening and often seem like they cannot be real. But I don't think it's healthy to ponder pornography that much...

I spent lots and lots of time with Jimmy this weekend, maybe to stock up before Thanksgiving? I don't know, but it reminds me that balance is essential. I definitely was lacking in the alone and friend time this weekend. I had plenty of study time, plenty of time with him, but without enough of the other two (which, quite frankly, were greatly reduced because of the Great Con paper due tomorrow) I didn't feel like it was the best of weekends. Oh well. Live and learn.

And speaking of G Con papers, I hope this one is turning out relatively well. Instead of focusing on Charlotte Lucas entirely, it morphed into being a discussion on the various courses of action a lady in Jane Austen's novels could take: to settle or not to settle, that is indeed the question at hand. I think I've written so many Jane Austen papers that I cannot gauge which is good and which isn't. So, I pray that this one will be good... Perhaps I'll get people to proof it tonight. Beg people, I mean. It's so funny -- when I write about Jane Austen, I can feel my own syntax meander toward hers, like I'm channeling the inner spirit of her novel and it's guiding me to use too many dependent clauses and commas.

And though it does mean bidding adieu to this lovely little journal, the paper, of which I have both mingled pride and fear, becons me to return to it in hopes of completing a satisfactory draft that I might bring to work with me tonight.

See what I mean? :)

I just had a nice long talk with Grant while I was working at the desk. I decided to ask him for the following for Christmas: can we please all take a trip together over Spring Break? Meg, of course, bring Charlie, Grant, Jimmy -- it doesn't sound like CA is over that break ANYWAY, Nic, Jacob, Erica and Jeff, anyone. I just want it to be together, and frugal, and hopefully to someplace west like montana or the grand canyon. So please, mark your calendars and love you all for doing so! I got all frazzled thinking that it prolly wouldn't happen, but the more I think of it, I realize that this is why it's a Christmas present, that way I don't grow grey hairs trying to organize it all. ;) Righto. I also talked with him about marriage, and hobo boxes, and Jimmy, and college, and kids-to-come (including the future names -- did you know he wants to call his son "Truman"?), Buddha nature and enlightenment, and who knows what else we covered. It was quite fun. No Candide read, but alas, there we are. :)

Anywho -- time to sleep! Come away with me, in the night. Goodnight ya'll!

Two months exactly. Jimmy and I have been dating for two months. Wow! It doesn't seem that long... rather it's just been one happy blur that I couldn't possibly separate into chunks of time. Miss you, Jimmy-boy and I hope your concerts have been fabulous.

Meanwhile, it's been another drizzly, dreary day on the hill. I swear, I need to stop going to Target. I keep thinking of things I "need" and by need, I mean things that I want. Like little plastic food storage containers. Or a teapot. Or some good breakfasty type foods to take to classes. Or a shirt I've had my eye on. Or oatmeal. Or salsa. I had asked my family to bring some food from home and they literally brought me five boxes of various crackers from salsa-flavored cheese nips to triscuits. While crackers are lovely and tasty, I had meant more varied types of foods. SO, I bought some myself and of course this involves spending money. It's an evil trick. You innocently think, I am a human; humans need food; I need for food; food requires money; it is a worthwhile expenditure; I have jobs; I can pay for food. And you're tricked into spending $20 on foods that will probably last you for months, however, that's not the point. I need to avoid Target in a bad way. :)

On a better note, Grant, Meg and I will make cupcakes and eat them tonight while watching Harry Potter. Mmmhmmm... and then I will do more homework. Candide is quite excellent! Anywho... nearly time for dinner. Talk to you all soon.

IT'S A WONDERFUL DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!

The malt-o-meal smell in Northfield was heavenly today... ahhhh! Thank goodness for toasty o's on an otherwise dreary Friday in Minnesota. Jimmy left today on band tour and so far, it's been healthy for me to have time to wander and ponder by myself. I was walking today and tonight and thinking "Can it really get any better than this? I have health, happiness, and every opportunity ahead of me. Not only that, but I have good friends and the most wonderful boyfriend ever. I am myself. I am alive. It's glorious!"

I bought a lovely pine candle at Target today for a few dollars. It's an Italian tradition to burn it completely before the New Year to ensure good luck and prosperity. It smells heavenly and reminds me of every good thing. What else? Erica and I watched the end of "Pride and Prejudice" -- what an excellent movie and excellent company to go with. Now if only I could convince Jimmy to watch it all the way through... haha, like he needs it! He was already delved in this week. Mwa hahaha. I hope he's having a great time. :)

I just painted my fingernails and they're taking forever to dry. Honestly -- what's the deal? Maybe sparkly nail polish decays as it ages and mine is too old to harden. Actually, not a bad theory.

The cheese-tasting at the French House tonight was heavenly! SO MUCH CHEESE! I was beside myself. Erica, Billiam and I went down together. Some of the samples were too strong even for my taste -- they were like mold! They tasted horrid. But, other than the absolute extremes, the rest was delish. Mmmm... I even brought back a considerable amount for Jimmy. I am a nice girlfriend. Or try to be. ;)

GAH! This polish is still wet! It's been like a half hour... I also went to the jazz band Swing Dance tonight, as promised. I didn't feel like dancing, but the music was wonderful. I hung with Jennifer and Meg and then ended up chatting with Tessa for a bit. Very fun. Jimmy's band played Moonlight Serenade, one of my very favorites. I hope he's listening to the CD I burned him.

MY GOODNESS! I must mention Jimmy every other sentence. Especially today. I'm so content with everything. It's like the beginning of the year again. I should take sanity evenings more often. It's a wonder I have friends willing to listen to me. Esp. you, Meg. I know I babbled on for a goodly amount of time tonight. I'm sorry!
We'll get orgasm cider tomorrow night to make up for it. ;)

Nails starting to dry. I wish I didn't have to work so much this weekend. Ahah -- sent out email requesting sub for sunday afternoon. That's right, no five hour days for me! :) I think I am going to start Candide tonight and then wake up tomorrow and work on my paper! Yeah, that's the plan. Along with going to lunch. Mmmhmmm... I can keep working on my Rice Krispie addiction.

Have a wonderful night everyone. I'm thankful that I am alive, that I can smell wonderful things like scented candles, that I have Jimmy, that I am able to attend this fine college, that my neighbors are having a good night (perhaps too good of a night judging by the moans we just heard), that cupcakes exist as do Harry Potter books, that I have a wonderful family so close to me and friends right here, for Jane Austen papers waiting to be written, and that God is smiling down on me.

Sweet dreams!

Hmm... another Thursday. This is usually one of my favorite times of the week because I think "aha! tomorrow is FRIDAY!" however, Friday means the Norseman Band is leaving for tour and that means certain people will be gone. Sigh. I'm being such a dork. It's just two and a half days. Right. Ok. I'm going to go do homework. Just as soon as I'm done moping.

Having who-can-hold-out-and-not-laugh contests with one boyfriend and using the sexual gestures usually reserved for friends (like licking one's finger and touching it to oneself with a tsssss) is highly amusing. Highly amusing.

AH! have reached new low: will skip chemistry lecture to study more for french. I am one sick bitch. I think exams should be abolished ... if knowledge is power, then can't we all just be brothers?

Mmmm... nearing the end of fatal 8am chemistry labs. Not to say that I'm nearing the end of 8ams all together -- quite the contrary, actually. Bio 261 screws you into MWF 8ams with only one possible lecture time. Gads, methinks. Anywho. I feel pretty toasted and have a large exam tomorrow, but life is good. It's been marvelous with Jimmy. I didn't imagine dating could be like this...

Sad grey day...

It's been so dark and dreary here... it's a bit disheartening when one thinks about a whole winter's worth of this.

My hormones are making me into a psycho bitch. Psychobitch. One word really, as I'm more of an entity of the two like this. AHHHH! Men have no idea whatsoever. I want more Rice Krispies.

Clarinet lesson today. Still haven't practiced perse, but oh well.

Chem test is daunting. Takes precedence over things like Gulliver's Travels, practicing, sleeping, eating, being nice to others. Haha, externalities. I am a sick bitch. One damn sick bitch.

SLUSH!

Yo ho ho... if it were a pirate's life for me, then I wouldn't have to go to chem lab. What a deep thought. Hello to everyone after a week's silence. Not much is new for me...

Lab is still the bane of my weekly existence. However, have only 3 more! Never taking an 8am lab again if I can help it.

In addition, am trying to figure out my registration stuff for next semester. I'm actually not too worried about getting into the sections I need, despite the uber-crappy registration time, because I figure that I can beg and plead my way into both bio and chem labs and that french won't close. Phew.

What else? I am feeling blue because a certain acquaintance keeps flirting with Jimmy at dinner and while I was able to just laugh it off for a few weeks, it's had been bothering me more. Last night was a breaking point of sorts. Thankfully, it's Tuesday and I won't have to face another post-Norseman dinner until tomorrow.

But, every stormy cloud does have a silver lining. Depsite me tweaking out a bit last night, Jimmy aka nice boyfriend was really understanding and supportive of how I was feeling. He just wanted me to feel comfortable again. What relief I felt after he told me this! And honestly, he's just blows me away sometimes, well, a lot of the time. NB (remember, "nice boyfriend") always looks out for me and get this, DOESN'T SEEM TO LOSE PATIENCE WITH ME! I have to be honest, if I were someone else, I would probably get frustrated with myself frequently. Maybe I'm partial, but even so. NB is never like that. I don't hesitate to tell him whatever is on my mind... I'm not afraid that it will push him away, or make me feel stupid, or upset him... OK, done gushing.

AND SPEAKING OF GUSHERS.... Megan, this one's got your name on it! The other night I got the most lovely ims from Meg who announced that Charlie had told her he loves her. :) YAY! I was soo happy that I promptly called her (even though it was late) for a girl-chat quickie. And I do mean quickie... mwa hahahaha, j/k.

Tonight is the midnight showing of the Matrix Revolutions. And we're seeing it. That's right, baby. At Lakeville. Suck it ya'll. Just kidding. But seriously, frickin' awesome.

I better go practice French dialoge for our second taped-in-a-studio oral presentation. Waaa... I get to be an old granny who went to St. Olaf in the 40's. Tee hee. :) And I get to poke Jimmy with an umbrella. I better practice walking with a bit of a hunch. Mmm... hunch. Like lunch.