After some thought-provoking reads for Campus Ecology, I have been thinking more critically about friendships, namely those here at St. Olaf.
We're all such busy individuals and go about our days in very individualistic ways: we plan our lives around our classes, commitments, activities, jobs and not around those of anyone else. Some do manage to see a boyfriend or girlfriend quite a bit, but it seems like if any relationship is to suffer due to our individuality, it's a friendship. As far as our friends on campus go, "out of sight, out of mind" seems to be the rule. We don't fall into good conversations with people who live on the other side of the Heights the way we do with our neighboring friends. I think part of the reason is because the friends across campus don't fit into our cozy, autonomous routine and thus seeing and communicating with them requires expending more energy than the typical over-booked Ole seems able or willing to do.
Then I think about the quality of conversation we do have in chance moments between the hubub. Sometimes, we fall into talks in which we feel comfortable enough to tell what's really on our minds: "man, I really hate this class because..." or "I feel more alive because it's springtime" or "this is what I think about the meaning of life, about religion, or about family." These times in which we truly connect with those around us are beautiful and precious. They are also rare. More often than not, conversation falls to "hey how are you" without really intending to receive or listen to the answer. Or, discourse falls to more superficial subjects such as other people, the work we have to do and an almost competition to see who's more miserable. We're either too distracted or too busy to really listen and give one another the time they deserve.
I love the people I've gotten to know here and I know I'm anything but the ideal friend at times. It's troubling to think that we are hardly conscious of how little respect we give one another. Friendship is one of the most worthy things we can hope to accomplish in our time at St. Olaf. Perhaps if we were mindful of these relationships, if we stopped and took the time for conversation with one another, we wouldn't feel so rushed all the time.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
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1 comment:
I think this is one of the reasons that I like you as my friend.. even if I don't see you much, it is always nice to talk to you and that is why I like to stop by or bump into you in the hallway!! because you have such wonderful meanings about things, and you are not afraid of saying that you sometimes do the same mistakes yourself. everyone is busy, too busy, and if they are not people are just really anxious because they don't know what to do if they have too much freetime!! I wish I could have got to know you earlier, and most of all, better! and I regred I don't hang out with you more, because you are one of those who think like a grown up, and are not afraid of being childish and fun!! You are great, both as a RA and ass a floormember:D keep on smiling sweetie!
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