so much suffering in the world

I don't know where to begin. This past weekend my good friend Nic passed away unexpectedly. We gathered last night to remember him and tell funny stories of him. I kept thinking I'd see him any moment and he'd tell us that it was ok, it had been just one awful misunderstanding. But, I can't help but realize that he's gone forever.

Nic was a wonderful guy and probably the kindest person I know. He would drop everything to help you, whether it was carrying your refrigerator up several flights of stairs on move-in day, lending you a prized video game system, helping you rearrange your room, listening to you, give you a ride someplace, meet you in the summer for a spur of the moment movie, or steal you the ONE golden caf bowl in existence. But, he was also sensitive: Nic wrote poems by the gallon and would send them out to us on an alias he created called "midnight poetry." He also took wonderful photographs of campus, his cabin.

I can't believe I'll never see him walking from Larson, hear him yell "AHHHH" and run at me, tickle me, then hoist me over his shoulder and carry me off. Or read all the wonderful poems he had yet to write. Or get to surprise him in the caf while he was working with a hug. Or see him walking around campus when it was literally 20 degrees out in nothing but a tee-shirt, shorts, and sandals. Or just see his smile or hear him laugh. I don't think we realize how intricately connected to one another we are until something terrible happens and all we can do is search for meaning.

I keep wandering around campus in a surreal daze. When I walk by the chime tower, I can't help but think that now my good friend is going to have a chime up there too. I cannot imagine what Nic must have gone through yesterday or what his family must be going through now. We can only pray that God is taking care of Nic now and that he knows how much we love and will miss him.